Alhamdulillah, I still manage to update here :)
Okay. This is my current situation.
I'm feeling like I'm changing quite a lot recently. I don't know whether it's good or not.
The current situation did demand me to change my attitude, social skills & my habits,
I'm okay with the change in attitude because to be a doctor you must have positive attitude. & I'm going towards that. As for socializing, I do felt a little bit uncomfortable. Yeah, maybe because back there when I was in school I haven't talk much to boys. And in PASUM too, networking only with tutorial's friends, friends of friends & school's friends. Right now, I'm okay with mixing and mingle around with boys as long as they don't go too far. I'm okay with talking about studies & simple stuffs that are not too personal. But for personal things, I don't like mentioning it myself & I hate it even more when people mentioning it in front of people that I don't know really well. Especially in front of boys. Joking around about my private matters in public. Let a secret remains as a secret. Shouldn't it be that way?
I think I should luahkan pada sahabat that will understand my situation & giving solution to me but I'm still searching. It's hard to find someone that really understands you. Finding friends for fun is easy though, but the one's that I defined as 'sahabat' is hard to find. Truestory okayyy. I've experienced it once. Or maybe I should just kept it to myself? So that I don't talk bad about others?
There are already so many things that I have done that are completely against my principles. I seek advice from Kak Solehah regarding this matter, & she did said that I should always pray that Allah will protect me from any bad things. Also pray to Him , "tetapkan hatiku & ketaatanku di atas agama-MU". Find good friends that will remind you to be istiqamah & stay on the right path. Moga Allah reda. Amin,